Shanda’s Story

By the time I met Elizabeth, I already had 3 miscarriage’s and they all have been very hard  for me. I couldn’t talk about my miscarriage’s much, but now I’m open to talk about it for the most part. It’s been a long and hard Journey.

My 1st miscarriage was on June 30th 2008. I knew I was having a girl. I even felt her heart beat come and go! Most people say they can’t feel the baby’s heart beat but I’m so glad I got that experience. I had to have a medication D&C because my baby’s heartbeat stopped. I felt like it was my fault for years, and to be honest it felt like an abortion. I hated myself, the doctors, I even was angry with God for a while for making me get the D&C. But it was very necessary so I did not catch gangrene or anything else.

My 2nd miscarriage was on August 8th 2014 and I was 5 weeks pregnant with Twins. Again felt like it was my fault because of the car accident I was in while pregnant. I had another medication D&C.

My 3rd miscarriage was December 4th 2014 and had to have a surgical D&C and I was supposed to be 8 weeks along but the baby was not growing past 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat. We didn’t tell very many people about that pregnancy because we were scared of miscarrying again. And that’s exactly what happened, We miscarried again.

I have had 3 miscarriage’s but have lost a total of 4 babies. We have decided to wait to try for our rainbow baby because we want to do some more testing to find out why I’m having all these miscarriage’s. We went to the doctors office and they tested my HCG levels again. My HCG levels finally came down to a 3. PTL.

I got on what is called the Nexplanon birth control, only till we find out why I am having these miscarriage’s. This is the 1st time the hospital has offered to burry my baby for free. I didn’t have this option or opportunity with the 1st, 2nd and 3rd child, so when they offered this to us for our 4th child we took advantage of it!

The hospital gave the wrong information for us so I missed our baby’s burial. I finally gave up and called and finally got a hold of the funeral home and they allowed me to come out and join the next group burial and it was right next to where they buried my baby so I got to put flowers down for our angel! We are looking into having a permanent marker made with all 4 of their names on the marker and the dates I had the D&C’s done.

We would love to adopt, try IVF, even hire a surrogate mother. We are looking into all of our options. We are leaning more towards IVF and surrogacy. Please be in prayer for my husband and I to have strength threw this. I still cry!

Elizabeth has helped me through the grieving process and it’s been easier knowing that I’m not alone! Thx Elizabeth for the advice, talking to me and helping methrough this and just being a friend to me. I appreciate you more than you know! – Shanda Morgan